..Or I Was Genius...

From almost exactly five years ago. The first answer is from March 2002, the other from tonight. Yes, some are the same. Funny I think how in some ways I was a terruble person then.

And Taba, I never added it up but over 5 years by now. So, without further review, I am retarded...


I am: insastiable/sleepy
I hurt: tendons in my ankle/right shoulder & neck
I love: androgenous guys/not being young anymore
i hate: rushed judgments/knowing the future
i cry: never/never unless my body gives out
i fear: flunking this semester/getting what I want
i hope: i get out of this funk soon/for simplicity
i feel alone: always/often and yet never
i waste: non-existent money/my time in front of a computer
i talk: about Rand/about nothing
i listen: to other people's bitching/to only a few songs of 40 gig of music
i break: my will
i see: through rose colored glasses (literally)/more than I should
i smell: easy-bake oven cookies/stale cigarettes
i taste: stale cigarettes/French rum
i work: too little/too much
i remember: trying to fly off the patio at home on windy days by flapping my arms/drinking hot 151 from plastic cups
i hold: abyss-like emotions that i never show
i hide: in my closet, a bag of starburst jellybeans for my roommate/any pain, b/c I cannot afford the doctor
i pray: that someday i find faith in something other than myself/I see the point of praying
i walk: carefully now, occasionally with a brace/with a purpose
i drive: my car on love, gas costs too much/a retardo car
i burn: wishes/the past
i breathe: always through my mouth/better without smoking
i play: with other people's minds/wiht photoshop on my mac
i miss: nikolai
i learn: "that our minds are like windows 98 machines"/how little I know each day
i feel: sagacious/ineffable
i know: everything i need to right now/something has to give
i dream: about killing people or fighting/of things I don’t remember
i have: my watch back from fossil!/an empty tummy
i want: my suitemates to quit throwing their food away in the sink and for them to buy toilet paper now and then/liquor to cost less
i fall: down the stairs, across flat ground, when my friends drop me on my head
i await: notification if my 4th ticket is off my record/knowledge of whether I will ever be hired or fired
i live: for myself only/…
i die: when i choose not to think/when I think too much
my hair: is half blonde and half red/long and natural
my makeup: as dark, as always/is variable and colorful
my dream: i'll work for national geographic someday/i’ll learn to be decisive
my obsession: singing and writing/online news portals
my most attractive feature(s): my selfishness/my green fatty eyes
my favorite thing to do: have an epitome/feel better than meh..
i'm wearing: ratty jeans, tank top and sheer cover jacket/jeans, powder blue blue tee
i'm eating: nothing/what’s food?
i'm drinking: diet coke/French rum
i'm listening to: placebo, taste in man/bat for lashes, sad eyes
i'm feeling: like i need coffee/sleep should be soon
i'm thinking: that i'm wasting my time doing this, but i don't want to write a real entry
i find: myself continuously discontent