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31 December 2007

Randomness and Bastards....

It is very rare when I become a romantic. Sure, I do like to hold on to keepsakes and such, but I am bad about the standard flowers and date sort of thing. For past birthdays and such, people have given me roses (which I hate) to celebrate, which promptly get put in a container and forgotten. I say container, mostly b/c I do not own vases, as no one has ever bothered to give the gift of a flower I can enjoy. Or, actually, asked for that matter. Yellow roses, red roses, even black, but nonetheless, I hate roses.

But, for Christmas I was given one of the most awesome gifts ever of the 132 set of Prismacolor pencils. A beautiful, expensive set of the best colored pencils I have ever used, bought to replace my rather raggety set of 24. Sure, I am a bad artist and mostly use these for coloring, but we'll all ignore that. Someday, when I have a proper beneficiary, I will sew and draw and color and paint and take photos of everything to justify my non-payroll. Really. Sponsor me and see. :)

Back on track, to color I must have background. And for background, I love movies. Problem is, we own so many foreign films it is hard to choose a movie in English, a must when looking at a tv is optional. Tonight, half drunk I went from Swimming With Sharks to Love Actually. The original plan was a Hal Hartley movie (bonus 10 points if you know who that is), but I realized I did not have the concentration that director requires. Watch a Hartley (best director ever!!!) movie and you will see.

The plan was movies to not pay attn to. Really. Yet, somehow, the borrowed copy of Love Actually has never made it back to my parents place. I suck at romanticism, and yet that movie can almost make my challenge my entire life beliefs. Go crappy movie!!!

And, yes, this was a terribly long random entry about nothing.

On a side note....it really sucks when D1 goes down for almost 10 hours. Happy New Years.

28 December 2007

Selections from The 50 Most Loathsome People in America 2007

14. Glenn Beck

Crimes: If Fox News isn't quite asinine enough for you, just click on over to Headline News, where the CNN brand is eagerly defiling its vestigial credibility by giving an hour a day to the dumbest dumbfuck in dumbfuckistan, Glenn Beck. A white-knuckle, dry drunk, closet case man-child with apparent xenophobia issues and a penchant for end-times theology, Mormon convert Beck is palpably horny for the apocalypse, passive-aggressively accusing even the world's most benign Muslims of plotting America's destruction and likening withdrawal from Iraq to slavery. Beck's combination of faux everyman persona and deliberate misinformation -- The hottest year on record was 1934 (actually 2005), tax cuts increase revenue (patently false Reaganomic mysticism), Antarctica is cooling, Scooter Libby went to jail -- seems increasingly insane, as his whole persona seems to be a frantic pantomime of how he thinks an even-keeled, "smart" bigot would act. Thinks Al gore is "like Hitler." May actually be in love with the president of Iran.

Exhibit A: "I don't know if the Muslim community will ever step to the plate like the Japanese-American community did during World War II. You know, it was absolutely disgraceful how we rounded innocent people up then and, sadly, history has a way of repeating itself no matter how grotesque that history might be. The Muslim community can prevent this if they act now."

Sentence: Anchored to the Florida shore, Beck is forcibly compelled to vigorously deny the gradual rise of water levels around him as boats full of gay, Marxist Muslim illegal immigrants arrive and disembark nearby. Eventually, after two decades, Beck drowns.

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9. You

Charges: You believe in freedom of speech, until someone says something that offends you. You suddenly give a damn about border integrity, because the automated voice system at your pharmacy asked you to press 9 for Spanish. You cling to every scrap of bullshit you can find to support your ludicrous belief system, and reject all empirical evidence to the contrary. You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism -- it's nationalism when foreigners do it. You hate anyone who seems smarter than you. You care more about zygotes than actual people. You love to blame people for their misfortunes, even if it means screwing yourself over. You still think Republicans favor limited government. Your knowledge of politics and government are dwarfed by your concern for Britney Spears' children. You think buying Chinese goods stimulates our economy. You think you're going to get universal health care. You tolerate the phrase "enhanced interrogation techniques." You think the government is actually trying to improve education. You think watching CNN makes you smarter. You think two parties is enough. You can't spell. You think $9 trillion in debt is manageable. You believe in an afterlife for the sole reason that you don't want to die. You think lowering taxes raises revenue. You think the economy's doing well. You're an idiot.

Exhibit A: You couldn't get enough Anna Nicole Smith coverage.

Sentence: A gradual decline into abject poverty as you continue to vote against your own self-interest. Death by an easily treated disorder that your health insurance doesn't cover. You deserve it, chump.


...thanks Nihil!

27 December 2007

I Am Not A Morning Person

Someday I would like to have a job that it wouldn't matter if I went in to work or not. A job where I do not automatically cause a burden on those around me if I do not show up. Or I could take a vacation without feeling guilty knowing someone else has to be at work at an ungodly hour for redundant conference calls. Mostly, I just want to sleep for more than a few hours.

26 December 2007

Thomas Lang Drum Solo



I wanna see Rick Allen pull that off.

Amore Patches


Patches to Make You Stop Caring About Love

I knew I bought the wrong presents for some of my friends....guess I'll have to get these for next year.

Twist


Presents Opening Children by Rob Sheridan. If I had been home yesterday instead of doing family stuff this would have been posted earlier. However, I'm a day late. Enjoy nonetheless.

22 December 2007

Pirates!

Failed Pirate attempt in Liverpool

I think what I like best is that everyday culture has been so transformed by movies that a news article makes mention of an actual pirate and a movie character in the same quote, and both are completely acceptable and need no further explanation.

15 December 2007

42 Below Vodka


Clio Awards Best Advertisements

These are entertaining enough that I might actually have to try the vodka. Gotta love the blatant mocking of our fantastic President.

Korea Clones Glow in the Dark Cats


And you thought they would only breed them for eating.

13 December 2007

Eddie Izzard on Vampires



I just do not care. I love me the Izzard. He is to the rocksaurs.

Drinking wine since 18:30...


When purified is just not enough....

Holy Water for the heathens in us.............this is one point wrong in capitalisk.

10 December 2007

LFHCfS


Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists™

Sometimes, I am just truly astounded by the things I find online.

Om Shanti

Yoga Beans!

Action figures doing yoga, with little dialoges of what transpired between the different figures. Not very many overall, and kinda lame sometimes, but I like dolls and action figures.

08 December 2007

Brilliant

30,000 Dollar Millionares

Can't wait for this to ever come out. These people exist everywhere, but damn, in Dallas, they are crawling out of the bloody woodwork.

06 December 2007

Mother of the Year Award



..things that made me laugh today.......

05 December 2007

Flickr brings back memories


Sears Wishbook 1982

This seriously seems to contain every single toy I remember having as a kid. Every. single. one. Including the Bozo ventriloquist doll that at age 4 gave me nightmares for a month after watching Poltergeist. One of my favorites as a small kid though was the farm set above. I would play with it for hours....

Puppets!



To go along with Ninja Day, a tshirt showing what ninja's do when they are bored.

Why Didn't I Think of This?


Reserve a Spot in Heaven

There's a few of you that might want to give them your money. 100% guaranteed or your money back!

Time to Kick This Pig



International Day of the Ninja

This is a day I have to ask myself why I still live in Dallas. If I lived in LA, I could go to this show. Or if I lived in San Diego (when it's not on fire),
I could visit to go to this show. In Dallas? Not so much, and that's cause for sadness. So today is Ninja Day. Be sneaky, and feel free to kill people.

01 December 2007

Honesty

The perfect Christmas gift

Seriously, if anyone wants to buy this for me, I'll love you forever. Size small.

Statistics



A whimsical image of the blogosphere from the edge of the core.

Artwork by Alex Cherry



Intolerance

Art by Carlo Giovani



Flights of Souls

Art by Mel Kadel



it's a sound like any other sound (sounder)

Vast is good

Things that are great:
Hidden references you understand between friends that have not hung out ina long time
Bartenders who take your glass away b/c they decided you deserved more
Good people you've wanted to meet for years


Things that aren't:
People you did not wish to see
Sleepy drunkeness
Musical idols losing their voice and feeling and gaining 40 pounds
Learning being an adult means losing all the other things

...weirdest thing is i hate shows, yet this is like the 5th one thid year.....