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31 December 2007

Randomness and Bastards....

It is very rare when I become a romantic. Sure, I do like to hold on to keepsakes and such, but I am bad about the standard flowers and date sort of thing. For past birthdays and such, people have given me roses (which I hate) to celebrate, which promptly get put in a container and forgotten. I say container, mostly b/c I do not own vases, as no one has ever bothered to give the gift of a flower I can enjoy. Or, actually, asked for that matter. Yellow roses, red roses, even black, but nonetheless, I hate roses.

But, for Christmas I was given one of the most awesome gifts ever of the 132 set of Prismacolor pencils. A beautiful, expensive set of the best colored pencils I have ever used, bought to replace my rather raggety set of 24. Sure, I am a bad artist and mostly use these for coloring, but we'll all ignore that. Someday, when I have a proper beneficiary, I will sew and draw and color and paint and take photos of everything to justify my non-payroll. Really. Sponsor me and see. :)

Back on track, to color I must have background. And for background, I love movies. Problem is, we own so many foreign films it is hard to choose a movie in English, a must when looking at a tv is optional. Tonight, half drunk I went from Swimming With Sharks to Love Actually. The original plan was a Hal Hartley movie (bonus 10 points if you know who that is), but I realized I did not have the concentration that director requires. Watch a Hartley (best director ever!!!) movie and you will see.

The plan was movies to not pay attn to. Really. Yet, somehow, the borrowed copy of Love Actually has never made it back to my parents place. I suck at romanticism, and yet that movie can almost make my challenge my entire life beliefs. Go crappy movie!!!

And, yes, this was a terribly long random entry about nothing.

On a side note....it really sucks when D1 goes down for almost 10 hours. Happy New Years.

28 December 2007

Selections from The 50 Most Loathsome People in America 2007

14. Glenn Beck

Crimes: If Fox News isn't quite asinine enough for you, just click on over to Headline News, where the CNN brand is eagerly defiling its vestigial credibility by giving an hour a day to the dumbest dumbfuck in dumbfuckistan, Glenn Beck. A white-knuckle, dry drunk, closet case man-child with apparent xenophobia issues and a penchant for end-times theology, Mormon convert Beck is palpably horny for the apocalypse, passive-aggressively accusing even the world's most benign Muslims of plotting America's destruction and likening withdrawal from Iraq to slavery. Beck's combination of faux everyman persona and deliberate misinformation -- The hottest year on record was 1934 (actually 2005), tax cuts increase revenue (patently false Reaganomic mysticism), Antarctica is cooling, Scooter Libby went to jail -- seems increasingly insane, as his whole persona seems to be a frantic pantomime of how he thinks an even-keeled, "smart" bigot would act. Thinks Al gore is "like Hitler." May actually be in love with the president of Iran.

Exhibit A: "I don't know if the Muslim community will ever step to the plate like the Japanese-American community did during World War II. You know, it was absolutely disgraceful how we rounded innocent people up then and, sadly, history has a way of repeating itself no matter how grotesque that history might be. The Muslim community can prevent this if they act now."

Sentence: Anchored to the Florida shore, Beck is forcibly compelled to vigorously deny the gradual rise of water levels around him as boats full of gay, Marxist Muslim illegal immigrants arrive and disembark nearby. Eventually, after two decades, Beck drowns.

-------------

9. You

Charges: You believe in freedom of speech, until someone says something that offends you. You suddenly give a damn about border integrity, because the automated voice system at your pharmacy asked you to press 9 for Spanish. You cling to every scrap of bullshit you can find to support your ludicrous belief system, and reject all empirical evidence to the contrary. You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism -- it's nationalism when foreigners do it. You hate anyone who seems smarter than you. You care more about zygotes than actual people. You love to blame people for their misfortunes, even if it means screwing yourself over. You still think Republicans favor limited government. Your knowledge of politics and government are dwarfed by your concern for Britney Spears' children. You think buying Chinese goods stimulates our economy. You think you're going to get universal health care. You tolerate the phrase "enhanced interrogation techniques." You think the government is actually trying to improve education. You think watching CNN makes you smarter. You think two parties is enough. You can't spell. You think $9 trillion in debt is manageable. You believe in an afterlife for the sole reason that you don't want to die. You think lowering taxes raises revenue. You think the economy's doing well. You're an idiot.

Exhibit A: You couldn't get enough Anna Nicole Smith coverage.

Sentence: A gradual decline into abject poverty as you continue to vote against your own self-interest. Death by an easily treated disorder that your health insurance doesn't cover. You deserve it, chump.


...thanks Nihil!

27 December 2007

I Am Not A Morning Person

Someday I would like to have a job that it wouldn't matter if I went in to work or not. A job where I do not automatically cause a burden on those around me if I do not show up. Or I could take a vacation without feeling guilty knowing someone else has to be at work at an ungodly hour for redundant conference calls. Mostly, I just want to sleep for more than a few hours.

26 December 2007

Thomas Lang Drum Solo



I wanna see Rick Allen pull that off.

Amore Patches


Patches to Make You Stop Caring About Love

I knew I bought the wrong presents for some of my friends....guess I'll have to get these for next year.

Twist


Presents Opening Children by Rob Sheridan. If I had been home yesterday instead of doing family stuff this would have been posted earlier. However, I'm a day late. Enjoy nonetheless.

22 December 2007

Pirates!

Failed Pirate attempt in Liverpool

I think what I like best is that everyday culture has been so transformed by movies that a news article makes mention of an actual pirate and a movie character in the same quote, and both are completely acceptable and need no further explanation.

15 December 2007

13 December 2007

Eddie Izzard on Vampires



I just do not care. I love me the Izzard. He is to the rocksaurs.

Drinking wine since 18:30...


When purified is just not enough....

Holy Water for the heathens in us.............this is one point wrong in capitalisk.

10 December 2007

LFHCfS


Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists™

Sometimes, I am just truly astounded by the things I find online.

Om Shanti

Yoga Beans!

Action figures doing yoga, with little dialoges of what transpired between the different figures. Not very many overall, and kinda lame sometimes, but I like dolls and action figures.

08 December 2007

Brilliant

30,000 Dollar Millionares

Can't wait for this to ever come out. These people exist everywhere, but damn, in Dallas, they are crawling out of the bloody woodwork.

06 December 2007

Mother of the Year Award



..things that made me laugh today.......

05 December 2007

Flickr brings back memories


Sears Wishbook 1982

This seriously seems to contain every single toy I remember having as a kid. Every. single. one. Including the Bozo ventriloquist doll that at age 4 gave me nightmares for a month after watching Poltergeist. One of my favorites as a small kid though was the farm set above. I would play with it for hours....

Puppets!



To go along with Ninja Day, a tshirt showing what ninja's do when they are bored.

Why Didn't I Think of This?


Reserve a Spot in Heaven

There's a few of you that might want to give them your money. 100% guaranteed or your money back!

Time to Kick This Pig



International Day of the Ninja

This is a day I have to ask myself why I still live in Dallas. If I lived in LA, I could go to this show. Or if I lived in San Diego (when it's not on fire),
I could visit to go to this show. In Dallas? Not so much, and that's cause for sadness. So today is Ninja Day. Be sneaky, and feel free to kill people.

01 December 2007

Honesty

The perfect Christmas gift

Seriously, if anyone wants to buy this for me, I'll love you forever. Size small.

Statistics



A whimsical image of the blogosphere from the edge of the core.

Artwork by Alex Cherry



Intolerance

Art by Carlo Giovani



Flights of Souls

Art by Mel Kadel



it's a sound like any other sound (sounder)

Vast is good

Things that are great:
Hidden references you understand between friends that have not hung out ina long time
Bartenders who take your glass away b/c they decided you deserved more
Good people you've wanted to meet for years


Things that aren't:
People you did not wish to see
Sleepy drunkeness
Musical idols losing their voice and feeling and gaining 40 pounds
Learning being an adult means losing all the other things

...weirdest thing is i hate shows, yet this is like the 5th one thid year.....

24 November 2007

About Time


If you've ever seen this store, you'd understand just how funny this ad I received really is. Seriously, who wouldn't want to spend $9300 for these super fantastic TRES OUTLAWS THE 40 ROSES OF OUR LADY OF GUADALUPE boots? Or how about spending only $950 for these very classy LIBERTY BOOTS BAD KITTY? Or, if cowboy boots aren't your thing, there's always the accessories, such as this gorgeous CHROME ANGEL belt buckle. Not only can you be at the height of fashion and wear it anywhere, if you feel like you've had too much to eat for the day, you can perforkm a self-liposuction just by bending over and stabbing yourself with the wings!

It really is amazing it took this long for the store to fold, even for the Shops at Legacy. Too bad I missed the special sale yesterday, with all those bonus dollars I could have received I might even have been able to afford something in the store. And then the only problem would be deciding who would be the recipient of such a wonderful gift.

23 November 2007

Good things come from Guatemala

Best rum ever. The only other that seems to equal this would be the 15 year of the same brand. This has a sweeter flavor, which normally loses points with me. But this is worth it. And Goody Goody just started carrying it.

And they mischarged me and only made me pay for the 10 year. Very very happy. :)

That is all.

Time to learn.....

So my family is doing Thanksgiving today. At my house. And I'm cooking and I can't cook. So far I have had to call to ask what gibblets are as it was written in my very detailed instructions on how to cook a turkey that there might be gibblets. Evidently, the very disgusting innards did not come with these particular turkey breasts. Something to be thankful for right there.

I have 10 pounds of potatoes that I am theoretically going to be mashing. Should be fun since I've never even made instant potatoes.

I have a big crate with bowls, utensils, and food from my parent's house. It is really very sad to have to borrow all this stuff. Seems like things a normal person would have in their home. Guess it makes a difference that neither Adrian or I ever cook more than a simple little meal and rarely even do that.

Let's see if I can keep from killing my family today.

And btw, oven cleaner sprays are absolutely disgusting. Nastiest smell ever when turning on the oven after having cleaned it. Ew.

17 November 2007

Saves on health insurance if you're dead

Turns out this is the week for assisted Darwinism. Population control at it's finest:

US Customs stop Canadian ambulance taking a patient to a Detroit hostpital that already had been defibrillated twice on the trip.

Meter maid tickets car after man collpases in front of hospital.

Love getting lost in downtown Dallas

The Aesop rock concert was amazing. Debateably the most fun show I've been to. Nothing like a large group of indie kids thinking they're hardcore getting together to watch white guys rap. Drinks were expensive but right about the expected amount, and I have the special added feature of bigbrother knowing exactly where I go and do as to drink you had to scan your license and the armband has my name and last 4 digits of my license number printed on it.

Nice to hang out with the old friends again. Been stuck in a groove of seeing the same people for so long it was incredible to realize just how lazy a friend I can be. Forgot how much I love Hil. Great night, just wish I hadn't misstepped on the stairs up to the apartment and smacked my knee. I can barely walk and stairs suck. Too bad the washer is downstairs and I need to do laundry.

10 November 2007

Now the Fat Security Guards Can Avoid Exercise Even Easier!

So now even the "Asset Protection" security guards at Target fly around the parking lot using Segways. I'm not sure if this is a new policy for the comp-any, or just a special perk of living in hoity-toity Plano. Either way, it's utterly ridiculous.

09 November 2007

Kris Moyes for the Softlites



.via Interactive Media Design

Thursday Teachings

Things I Have Accepted:
Drinking puts people together
I hate everyone
The poorest show at the most inopportune time
Signifigant others really only do reciprocate what they are given
I'm actually right about a lot of things
They only hear when it is what they want to hear
I was right. Watch.

Things I Have Not:
This big blue ugly couch
People are too dumb to figure out why they stick with the same thing over an over
Sometimes castration is not an option
How dare this be the case.
Some fights aren't worth figthing. Because I was wrong. (Look back at the header)

08 November 2007

Scooter Desk of Doom

Scooter Desk allows for mobility while working.
Two major problems I see with this. First, gonna be fun to lug around those Dell PC's that a whole lot of companies still have since they don't want to shell out for laptops. Secondly, looks great as an idea for skinny people. But let's try this in the standard office in America and I think we're going to be having a hard time working through the tears that are streaming down our faces from the overwhelming laughter as we watch people tip over forwards and backwards on this due to weight restrictions.

I think I am a much bigger fan of this

Kinda Defeats the Idea of Portable


Steampunk Laptop

Laptop turns on by winding a key, completely reoutfitted to be steampunk. Beautiful job, and a perfect idea for the ever antiquated HP systems. On a related note, why is it that steampunk is becoming so freaking popular of late?

03 November 2007

Gadgets with Multi-functions and Fire!


It never fails that when a new gadget is invented it happens after just about everyone I know has stopped doing whatever it pertains to. The USB Lighter is a perfect example. A nifty little lighter that uses coils like a car lighter but gains it's heat from computer power seems a neat idea. Better is it actually contains some space for memory, making it not quite retardely ridiculous as most USB powered items that have appeared of late. But, of course, this would be coming out when almost everyone I know is quitting smoking. Good timing Nathan Gabriele.

..via Yanko Design

01 November 2007

31 October 2007

Ban Bacon!

Ban bacon to decrease bowel cancer

Seems appropriate that something that tastes so awful entering your body would also ravage it on the way out. I think Steve would have an issue with this idea. Would probably start the Canadian front of the war for a 'Keep Bacon Free' campaign.

28 October 2007

More Hard-Hitting News from CNN

"The record for history's largest cocktail belongs to British Lord Admiral Edward Russell. In 1694, he threw an officer's party that employed a garden's fountain as the punch bowl.

The concoction? A mixture that included 250 gallons of brandy, 125 gallons of Malaga wine, 1,400 pounds of sugar, 2,500 lemons, 20 gallons of lime juice, and 5 pounds of nutmeg.

A series of bartenders actually paddled around in a small wooden canoe, filling up guests' cups. Not only that, but they had to work in 15-minute shifts to avoid being overcome by the fumes and falling overboard."


Ok, the article is interesting and all, but really CNN, how do you find time to cover news when filling up the tubes with this set of historical tales? Shouldn't this be on a different site somewhere, you know, that focuses on features and lists rather than up to the minute coverage of theoretically important information? You never cease to amaze and disappoint.

Text of the Living Dead


Text of the Living Dead an interactive art project that allows locals to usee SMS messaging to participate in a slideshow of stills from Night of the Living Dead. Now, I kinda like the idea and think it could be good to see as cheap entertainment. But it does mke me sad that soon enough someone is gonna start using this as an advertising venue. Then there's the possibility of that guy, you know the one, that will decide this is a perfect way to propose to his girlfiend. Classy.

23 October 2007

Pentax K100D



And it's mine. Backwards compatible to my old Spotmatic with an adaptor so all the lenses don't go to waste. Gorgeous. Heavy. Like a real camera that won't break in a year and a half (damn you Sony!!). Now I just need to remember how to use all the functions.

Coding Should be Easy

damnit. have a new design all set up for this but can't get the coding right for the background to display correctly. need to go back and refresh my css knowledge. b/c i have time for this.

22 October 2007

21 October 2007

Another Yanko


Multiplying Light

I hate chandeliers normally, but this actually looks pretty nifty!

Seems kinda dumb, but then, I hate people


Lonely Jacket
Now picking up a stranger takes on new meaning. Also, animal fur, dirt, dust and anything else within a short range can become your friend!

..via Yanko Design

20 October 2007

Atlas Shrugged Anniversary

50th Anniversary of "Atlas Shrugged" : A discussion on Rand's life, writing and impact in academia


October 2007 marks the 50th anniversary of the publication of "Atlas Shrugged," Ayn Rand's bestselling novel (an estimated 6 million copies have sold to date). To celebrate the anniversary, the Atlas Society held a conference in Washington, DC to discuss Rand's philosophy and the impact of the book. During this panel, Anne Heller, Ayn Rand biographer; Mimi Gladstein, author of "Atlas Shrugged: A Reader's Companion"; and David Kelley, Atlas Society senior fellow, talk about Rand's life, writing and impact in academia. The discussion was moderated by Nigel Ashford of the Institute for Humane Studies.

"If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater the effort the heavier the world bore upon his shoulders, what would you tell him to do ?"
"I..don't know. What..could he do ? What would you tell him ?"
"To shrug".





..

Stupid working and not getting to watch things I want. :(

Sqeeeeeeeze


Stress Balls. Now these are some I could stand to use. I like that the faces start off looking this bad, then I can contort them even more.

..via Tokyo Mango

Another reason laws putting limits on the tubes is bad

Britain Copywrite law makes no sense

What kind of sense does it make for someone to be arrested for linking to things that have already been placed online? Why is it that the corporation is totally in the clear, but the guy who strcitly provided the linkage goes to jail? And hell, half the time the clips didn't even load on my computer. Not sure if it hated Macs or if it hated Safari, but eihter way, this is bullshit. Jeeis Cantrell and Black 20 evidently just made someone in charge of ridiculous charges aware there was a tite doing this. Hey! I'm linking to a news article! Arrest me!!!

Uncle Sam is the part of the family I hate

"Liquor is worth more to the government than beer or wine. Uncle Sam takes an excise tax of $2.14 for each 750-milliliter bottle of 80-proof spirits, compared with 21 cents for a bottle of wine (of 14 percent alcohol or less) and 5 cents for a can of beer."

18 October 2007

SKIN:Tattoo


SKIN:Tattoo

Now I've watched the video and read what little is on this page about this new project by Philips. I've checked elsewhere and so far it seems that no one knows really what this is fully about or how this works. Is it based on heat and touch? Emotion? All I know is considering how fickle I am, this would probably be the type of tattoo I would go for, especially since if it does not show all the time on the very pale boy in the video, I would be still just as porcelain as I normally am.

17 October 2007

Exploding Dog


Please Drink Responsibly

Bring a Little Redneck Into Your home


Bed Mounted Shotguns

For those times when the intruders really take you by suprise. Also helpful if you hate your spouse, as you can now take them out when they get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.

Jewsh quotes

"I'm Jewish and I can say that the fact that 14,000 '69 Chargers dies in the Dukes of Hazard series is more depressing than the Holocaust. Because we can make new Jews. Hell, I've got 300 million betwixt my legs right now."

followed shortly by....

"What can I say, I know how to talk to women. I'm a smooth talker."

Having retarded friends is great. Go Josh!

14 October 2007

Don't Put THAT in you Mouth


Six most terrifying foods in the world

I think I could deal with the Pacha. But that's about it. I've always made it a rule thatr if it smells bad or looks gross, food should not be ingested. I think about everything on this list fits both catagories for omission from my future meals.

12 October 2007

They added an N

eMachines computer is Never Obsolete

Yeah, right. When I worked at Circuit City after high school we refused to offer an extended warranty past the 90 day manufacturer's b/c these computers are just so shitty. I especially love how every aspect of this computer featured became obsolete a few years back. That's just nifty.

11 October 2007

10 October 2007

Luciferous Logolepsy

torpid
adj. - numb; sleepy; dull. torpidity, n. torpify, v. make torpid. torpor, n. torpid state; apathy. torporific, adj. torpifying.

08 October 2007

The Things You Never Expect

Tonight one of my oldest friends informed me that an old friend from high school died last week due to a car accident. I never had many female friends, and she and I were never really all that close. We didn't hang outside of school, didn't have many mutual friends. But she was always one of those people that had so much confidence in herself that being around her made you feel special and more alive. Like you were part of a secret club of only the few that were really seriously having a good time, and there was a giant trick being pulled over on everyone else who was just merely existing. It's been a few years since we last spoke, and I could have gone forever without ever thinking about what she was up to or the things going on in her life. But knowing she is no longer ding those things just seems so off kilter. Damn.

06 October 2007

Sky on Fire, Part II



So some might remember when I posted in February of a day when the sky was pink. This afternoon, due to scattered showerws and the sunset, the sky again decided to change hue. I love it when it does this. Makes me hope that some huge storm will come through and whisk me away to Oz or somewhere equally unlikely.

WWFTD: Vinolency

The worthless word for the day is: vinolency

[L. vinolentia] obs. drunkenness

"This disease [apoplexy] being so frequent an attendant,
or a consequence of vinolency holds up a most awful
warning to the inebriate."
- Thomas Trotter, An Essay.. on Drunkenness (1813)

"[Ye] wassailers elide your costrels and degneate[sic]
yourselves of your vinolency..."
- Lorenzo Altisonant, Letters to 'Squire Pedant (1850)

costrel - an earthenware or leather bottle
denegate - to deny

..via WWFTD

Yay! More Art!


Continuous line art by Chiani Hsu

Pretty impressive work for a mouse and computer. The best I can muster using that method is some very crude stick figures. Maybe a smiley face. Don't ask for more, since the method is hard.

04 October 2007

Fire as Water



Delightfully artful. The site it is from however, is in Spanish, so I have no idea what any of it is about. Feel free to translate.

02 October 2007

This Day Sucks

Yesterday: So I knew I would have to replace one tire due to the not-my-fault curb incident. Find out this morning the drivers front tire has bubbles as well and would also need to be replaced, something I knew would cost more but shouldn't be a big deal as I already had an appointment to get my back tire changed this morning. Just add one more on. Except it is tremendously difficult to get to the tire place when you jump in your car and it won't turn on. Lights come on, but the engine won't turn over. Called in to work, called AAA (so glad I got that membership a few months back, saved me $80 on a 3 mile drive), emptied my car of any valuables. Tow truck guy shows up, looks at the car for a few mintues and asks me for my key with the clicker/alarm attached, saying he thinks it's the security system.

Great, easy fix, except my car doesn't have one. Yes, world, I am announcing to everyone I do not have an alarm on my $14k car. Come and steal it. It doesn't run, but looks pretty for a retardo-car. So currently my car is sitting in the back lot of Scion of Plano waiting for some indefinite time when they can look at it and let me know what is wrong with it. Not sure how much this is all going to cost me, and of course it has to happen right as rent is due. Good timing to spend even more money. Damnit.

--

Today: Starter relay was broken. Covered under warranty, so no worries there. Two new tires plus alignment? $340. Skip out on buying the small, fule efficient cars unless you factor in the cost of tires. And buying throught the dealership was actually cheaper than if I had purchased from Discount Tires or the like. Now I'm poor.

01 October 2007

Animals are Evil

There's apparently a reason why cats prefer the unfriendliest person in the room.

And all this time I thought it was just the universe's love of irony. Remind me in the future to just pick them up and love on them and then throw them aside. Maybe then they'll leave me alone. Now just need to find a cure for dogs.

27 September 2007

The chocolatey goodness of tampering

I have some Hershey's kisses and I am wondering why the little paper pieces have changed. I have thus gotten the messages of: 'Let's go out', 'Oops', and 'Cheer up'.

What happened to my candy?

26 September 2007

Atheists are liars who worship Satan!!!



(Not safe for work audio)

It made me laugh. It made Adrian's face hurt.

A 200 Yard Case of the Heebie Jeebies



Scientists learn the giant spider web at Lake Tawakoni formed by at least 10 families of spiders.

I hate Lake Tawakoni. I remember going there as a kid and teenager a few times and there was never a time that there wasn't a huge spider population. I'm not sure what sets this state park apart from any other in the north Texas area, but it nevcer fails that giant man-eating spiders seem to be everywhere. I am not normlly squeamish about bugs or spiders, I like camping and deal with what goes with that, but I can only imagine the sound that would come out of my mouth as I ran screaming if I were the irst person to discover this behemoth of webs.

22 September 2007

I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so


Allergic reactions suck. My eyes are swollen, red and puffy, feeling like the picture to the right. On top of the sore throat that won't go away and the almost mute quality brought about from the laringitis. Poop. No fun weekend for me, mostly been sleeping and drugged. People were over last night and I had to crash early as my eyes were not cooperating with me. Missed volleyball this afternoon due to this. Ready to be healthy again. Or as healthy as I normally am.