I'm the Worst. Sorry.

What are jerk balloons? They’re balloons for jerks. Obviously. You can’t see us, but we’re totally rolling our eyes at you right now.

The only thing I don't like is you can't just buy a set of 25 of one design.

Things I Want #090091.2

This chair by Fiona Roberts might be the chair of my dreams. The only drawback is that I've never been such a fan of the wingback-ish style, and the brown leather isn't doing it for me. Make it slightly more modern, and I would display this as the centerpiece of my home forever.

Jerky Panties!

Dried meat makes these edible Paleo panties a tasty treat. This valentines day give your significant other a truly unique gift.

100% edible and 100% meat, they are so easy to make a cavemen could do it!

Leave it to Instructables to set up a good omnomnom holiday. That sounds dirty.

Things I Want # 12312

Can someone buy this Tord Boontje Tangle Globe for me when Artecnica starts selling these later this year? Please?

3D Printed Custom YOU Dolls

Thanks to the Japan-based company Clone Factory, you can give the gift of an unsettling plastic simulacrum formed deep within the uncanny valley. Blogger Danny Choo has a post up explaining the entire process, which involves multi-angle photography, face-mapping, and custom 3D printing. The cost of your very own pint-sized doppleganger is 138,000 yen or around $1,700, but the effect of it is priceless.

..via Geekosystem

Things I Want # 938493899999

Salvador Dali original tarot cards on sale for £44,000 each at Modern Masters Gallery.

Also, because I am as cheap as I was at 14, someone buy me the Dali tarot set, so I can just frame the pictures. Spiritualism be damned, just gift the damn things.

Things I Want #204

The X100 uses an 12.3 megapixel APS-C sized sensor, the same size used on most full-size digital SLR cameras. While it doesn't offer as high a resolution as the latest pro SLRs, the sensor is paired with a newly designed 23mm f/2.0 Fujinon lens. The prime lens, which has the same angle of view of classic 35mm lenses for 35mm cameras, includes an aspherical element optimized to deliver light rays perpendicular to the sensor. This optimization produces sharp images from edge to edge with no noticeable light fall-off.

The lens also incorporates a nine-bladed aperture for smooth bokeh and a high-speed leaf shutter which allows flash use up to the maximum 1/4000 shutter speed. A built-in neutral density filter can also be turned on for up to three stops exposure adjustment, allowing use of larger apertures and or slower shutter speeds than typical under bright lighting conditions.

List price around $1000, due March 2011. Man.....if I could only afford this, I'd be all over if. Gorgeous.

Things I Want #8523

Sure it costs € 7990, but the KudOctopus from Kudoke has got to be one of most amazing watches I've ever seen.

So.....When you're busy

You're busy. And I've been busy. And lazy. And distraction and sleepy. Free time has been a mix of running and crafting. So, since I am incredibly lazy, a realllllllly long post of things I have found to post.

Doctor Who named best Sci-Fi show. Hell yes!!

What real T-Rex's look like. Feathers and all! Wait........what?

The Insanity Virus:

The idea has sparked skepticism, but after decades of hunting, Torrey and his colleagues think they have finally found the infectious agent. You might call it an insanity virus. If Torrey is right, the culprit that triggers a lifetime of hallucinations—that tore apart the lives of writer Jack Kerouac, mathematician John Nash, and millions of others—is a virus that all of us carry in our bodies. “Some people laugh about the infection hypothesis,” says Urs Meyer, a neuroimmunologist at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology in Zurich. “But the impact that it has on researchers is much, much, much more than it was five years ago. And my prediction would be that it will gain even more impact in the future.”

What if country size was equal to population size?

Last, check out my Amazon wish list for the most awesome pair of scissors ever!

Permanently My Cup

Mood Mugs by thabto. Happy, angry or sleepy. Never the happy, often the angry, mostly the sleepy.

Things I Want #45454545

So as awesome as the ridiculous pun is for this product, I totally want to get several rolls of this and then send completely inane objects to anyone everywhere.

Things I Want #45648

The quest for the ultimate clean burning portable heating source is becoming increasingly urgent. Enter the Canned Fireplace from Electrolux and designed by Camillo Vanacore.

This small, portable fireplace starts out a white ceramic container and slowly turns translucent to clear glass as the flames heat up. When the fire cools off, the cylinder turns back to white again.

Currently no details are available on a production timeline.

..via Green Muze.

Things I Want for Nostalgia

When I was a kid, my sisters and I liked to dress up and put on plays for my parents. Inevitably, my middle sister Ali was the princess, my oldest sister Ja' was both the villain and the prince, and I, being the youngest, was left with all the extra parts. This includes all 7 dwarves at one time, But this is back when the world was magical, wearing tutu's on our heads was acceptable, and there was no better way to ride off into the sunset (or the dining room) than on a broomstick with a horse's head on the front.

Of all the toys we ever had, I'll remember Barbie dolls. Not as some stupid idea that made my anorexic or have unrealistic expectations, but more there was a pretty doll to play with. Ja' and I would spend hours creating stories and plots for these dolls, including ones where their legs would just 'give out' and they were crippled, just for the dolls which we accidentally snapped off the legs and had to use rubberbands to hold together.

But Ali always had the best Barbie dolls. Hers were immaculate, gorgeous. The were to be groomed, not to be played with. It was a rare day when Ali's dolls were undressed from their original outfits, and she would meticulously brush their hair with the tiny brushes. When it came time to actually play with them, she was done and Ja' and I were left to our devices.

And Peaches 'n Cream Barbie was always one of my favorite. I am pretty sure she was originally Ja"s doll, but only b/c I remember the ending of this doll. The bustier shiny top separated from the boring white under-piece, the bottom frayed and tore as we used it on all the dolls. Pretty sure we used the stole around out own necks or around other dolls. I also presume this was Ja"s doll due to age and wear. Ali did not allow me to detroy dolls until she was done with them, and I remember this doll being pretty well destroyed prior to Ali outgrowing dolls.

Either way, out of remembrance, I want one.

World's Largest Bottle of Whisky

Dru McPherson and Mike Drury made the monster malt to put the village of Tomintoul, Banffshire, on the map.

The giant 1½metre bottle holds 105.3 litres of 14-year-old Tomintoul single malt.

A German glassmaker created the 7mm thick pyrex bottle, and a massive cork was specially made to fit.

I am impressively jealous. This equals out to 60 gandles of whisky. This would be the perfect birthday gift, so next year, I expect everyone I know to pitch in and get me this bottle and a very large straw.

0911/4000

Hey, Nihil, look what I have!!!

Possibly one of the best birthday gifts in a long time, especially due to the thought and that I did not expect it in any way. Thank you. Now I just have to figure out whether to play it or frame it.

Surprise!

Nothing quite like walking into the office on a Monday morning and finding a model of your dream car on your desk. Now i just need to make the 240z grow and put an engine in it. Or, find the money to buy this one, even if it is lacking the nifty upgraded chrome wheels.

£11.74!!!

So I am big fan of wrapping presents. I like to experiment with texture, folding, adding things that shouldn't normally belong. etc. I am a dork with a couple of bags worth of paper in the closet at all times. The Container Store is a special place to me at Christmas with their gift wrap wonderland.

Shut up. Stop snickering.

But no matter how much I like wrapping paper, even I cannot justify $16.50 for one sheet of awesomeness. Especially $16.50 for pixellation, something my lazy ass could make myself.

But isn't it pretty?

Things I Reallllllllllly Need #2!!!!!

Index finger trigger, cylinder pinfire, gorgeous design. If there was ever a deadly design that dealt with bullets instead of just fists, this would be it for me. Shitty driver? Dealt with. Creepy old dude hitting on me at a bar? Taken care of. Need a raise? Rolling in it, now, thanks to this. Sooooo want. Need. NEED.........please?

Things I Need #436

DespairWear

Designed for all of us.

Utility

Cereal-on-the-Go: Finally, a design that makes sense for cheap. Maybe not pretty, but really awesome if you want that bowl of cornflakes at work. I want one!