Have an account?

07 February 2007

Letting it all out

Why Do I Always Have to Be the One Who Says "Sorry"?

Look, I'm not saying (hypothetically) it's the perfect gift for a 10th anniversary, but if your wife REALLY likes her fancy plates, why wouldn't she want them displayed on these really nice holders?

I mean, let's say -- for argument's sake -- that you and your wife decide that because money is tight, and because you're going to be going away on vacation in the fall, that you're not going to get each other "romantic" gifts for the anniversary. I can't see how there's anything wrong with a practical gift that can help showcase something that's very important to her (e.g. her ridiculous plates).

And, let's be honest, are plate holders really any less appropriate than, say, "The Eagle's Greatest Hits" on CD as a 10th anniversary present? No, I don't think so. But of course the man can never throw a fit over such things, because his job is to just take the abuse while the woman gets her feelings all in a bunch. And I don't mean feelings, if you catch my drift!

I'm going to go home and break every one of those plates with a hammer, and I'm gonna blast "Hotel California" on my CD player when I do it. Then I'm gonna be all, like, "Oh, I wonder how that happened? Must have been a windy day in the house or something. Too bad you didn't want to use those beautiful Office Depot Plate Holders I got you for our anniversary. Then maybe there would have been less dish carnage."

If we really do split up, I'm taking the plate holders, because she said she doesn't want them. I'll give her one last chance when she comes back from her mother's house (this weekend or whenever!), and if she still doesn't want 'em, she can kiss them goodbye.

I guess I should call her tonight anyway, just to make sure she got in OK, and thank her for the stupid CD.



EDIT: It was brought to my attention that this could for some reason be interpreted as something dealing with my life. I'm not sure how. But for those under that rather idiotic impression, please click the link above to see what this is from.

0 comments: