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08 January 2007

The Lifer

Unique in that it does not belong to a species which congregates, or even acknowledges, one another, The Lifer is the only Hipster that remains completely ignorant of its own classification as such. While generally not Hip, not young, the species warrants inclusion due to its impressive ability to peacefully coexist in otherwise trendy terrain. Approach is unnecessary; they will initiate conversation when ready. Most species tend to be between 53 and 65 years of age, with little reported deviation.
The Life is rarely spotted outside of a drinking establishment. Interestingly, only one Lifer is alloted to each bar. They are never spotted in pairs and experts remains puzzled as to the possible existence of some Great Lifer Bar Patronage Schematic. These Hipsters possess also a chameleon like adaptability which allows them to complement the general atmosphere of their chosen environment. In the absence of a Lifer, many bars feel as incomplete as if, say, the jukebox blew a fuse. The Lifer is often resident historian of its terrain, able to recall the state of now-trendy environments during the dark agaes of pre-gentrification.
...from A Field Guide to the Urban Hipster