Observance in Action

So I was waiting this morning for the lovely newbie Barista to make my triple espresso before work, and I noticed the rather outdated sign still hanging above the pastry cabinet trying to advertise chocolate cupcakes. Next to the nice drawing of a very fat-filled treat and a cup of coffee was the ever-so-gramatically-correct phrase: "Have you get your cupcake for Valentine's Day?"

And this has been hanging for weeks. Wonder how many people ever even saw this?

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On a side note, looking very much forward to having internet again come sometime next week. I've missed the tubes. Or reading something as simple as email that is not work related. Spam would even be nice.

More Body Mods

Octopus Tentacle Implants

For when being an ordinary dumbass just isn't enough for you.

:(

This sucks. Take it in whatever context you want. Love sitting with my hands tied and no choice whatsoever.

Yep

"It was a bare, clean place. There was nothing on the kitchen counter but a radio/cassette player, nothing in th dish rack but a plate, a knife, and a fork. that the light was warm and the four chairs around the table looked comfortable somehow made the kitchen all the more unwelcoming. It was like the kitchen of the kind of man who was careful to wash the dinner dishes and wipe the counters before he went into the bedroom and put a bullet in his brain." - Strong Motion by Jonathan Franzen

I think he's trying to tell me something...

100%ALCOHOLIC

This is the kind of thing I get from co-workers. Quizzes they expect me to pass b/c I am, obviously, an alcoholic. At least according to this. Juniper berries required guessing.

I miss the tubes......

So Greg has one of those retarded keyboards that are supposed to stop wrist pain and suc. Great ig you know how to properly type, however I am struggling with this since my standard is 50+wpm in ridiculous 2 finger style. Yes, my ring fingers and pinky's never get tired. From typing. Yeah.

Went with Bria to a bridal show today. Scariest thing ever in the last few years, considering the bride looks like she is 12 and I was asked repeatedly when my wedding date to James was planned.

There are cliffs I can find prior to that ever happening. So I am free to find a brown or green dress, hopefullt show up in clothes. Threatening nakedness just to upset the Catholiv wedding, thpugh I think most will be unphased.

But nonetheless, outside of all this, not having the internet is killing me. Killing. Dunno when this will vhange, but this is a form of hell for non-believers. Really. No, really.

The End is Nigh

The internet is to be cut off tomorrow, ending all the terribly long time we paid way too much for Verizon's very unreliable and awful service. Once established in the new place we should be getting some new form of tubeage, probably through the cable tv option, not that we ever watch tv. But I suppose with that option, we can now have the chance to watch a documentary or an episode of American Gladiators (until real television returns, which we also didn't watch) if the mood strikes. Rabbit ears have thus far given us static and religious or Spanish stations. Go all those German classes back in high school I don't remember. Very helpful in Texas.

So, this might be it, unless the neighbors become more slack and stop blocking my habits with passwords. Three years here and the next door neighbor finally blocked the internet a month ago. Seems just about right. So, if there's nothing new here, it could easily be I am ignoring you, or it could be I don't feel like disconnecting my laptop from the dock at work to check my email.

And now, I am off to watch bad karaoke and spend some time with friends. The world might end tonight as we are supposed to be getting some ice and freezing weather. Knowing Dallas and all the wonderful people around here, the quarter inch we will probably receive will end up with everything closing down tomorrow, much to my chagrin. See you guys in a week or two.

Thoughts on Packing

Moving is an interesting experience. To me, who spent so many years living in the same place, it is a cathartic undertaking. Going through belongings, throwing out what you realize you no longer use nor need. Finding objects that you've been looking for all this time but accidentally got tucked into the wrong box long ago. Memories that no one else could ever understand that can make you just stop and stare at an origami box given to you over a decade ago or an ornamental plate given by your sibling that really reminds you of a joke form a long time ago concerning someone else. Most of the time, you never pay attention to these things when they hang on a wall or sit on a shelf, unless they require cleaning or someone else happens to see and comment. They become part of the background, just a piece of everyday life that no matter how important or trivial they are, you don't even notice.

The den is completely destroyed right now. The mantle is empty, the lights missing. Boxes are everywhere, mostly still waiting to be filled. I wish I could say I was a neat or organized packer, but mostly my method is to start with the most non-essential small items and move into the bigger and more cumbersome. Really starting to question how much I will allow the movers to touch, or more likely, how much they will move without charging extra. Sure we're only moving 4 miles away, but it still requires dismantling everything to do it. And there is much more to move now than was there 3 years ago.

Everything has changed during the time I have lived here. More than once. Cathartic to move, cathartic to stay. Something that I wish could have been much different. Somethings that never ever should have happened, some that perhaps should have. Odd to sit back and look at everything in the past tense and think of everything that led to this when the distance is only 4 miles. Electricity has been changed over, internet canceled as of sometime next week (no more shitty Verizon, we'll go without rather than pay for that again), just need to verify everything with the moving company (yay free!) and change over the mail.

Dunno if it would be easier if I was a gypsy. Never had the option. But, really, while I know it would scare the bejeebus out of me, I wish I were moving across country, far away from all that I had already known. Then, at least, I could be free of some of the spells that hold me in place when I should be running.

When UnAmerican became Sticker Nation

So thanks to the prince of dorks I gave yet another try, this time rewarded in my feverish state with all of the past coming tumbling back at me. I used to be more honest, more uncertain. All the questions I seemed to have asked then have been answered, replaced by yet another multitude of fill-in-the-blank and essays to create without knowing the topic.

I was recently told be someone I respect very dearly that if nothing else, I always need to hold on to my veracity. Is it just because it is easier this way, or do I find myself in this personality by the miniscule choices that I made along the way. Is there a difference? Path of least resistance was what was always touted, but did I even follow my own mantra?

The shower did not help. the last time I remember being that cold deep down in my bones was back in high school, after running half a mile down the beach to the only firm ceiling around. March, 1999, the furthest east I have been. The longest trip in uncertainty, soberness, and leadership in the past 15 years. I should be at work, running reports and watching over the world. I should be packing, getting ready for the abandonment of the first place of freedom I ever knew. Closets need turning out, laundry needs to be done. But I sit here dizzy and unaware of what time it is, nor the state of the universe.

The times have long been forgotten, the names I used to conceal the truth from others are now concealed to me. I cannot remember who the Butterfly or the Bruiser were, when speaking in riddles you forget the answer. Maybe that's the only thing I have learned all this time. Leave the riddles in the Labyrinth, and trust only the blatant ridicule in front of you.

"we are the mopey, and we are the unloved. we are the uncertain, and we are gods among men."--Nihil

Still hating the sicknessity

Woke up this morning to a 103 degree fever. Called out to work, ate a little food, took some otc medicine. Fever dropped to 100. Very drugged, I went back to bed, woke up 6 hours later to a fever back up to 102.7. Which has now climbed back up past 103. My jaw hurts from clenching it shut throughout the night due to shivering. At one time I woke up and put on one of Adrian's flannel shirts to make me warmer, still wearing it now. Still cold. Gonna try blasting the heater and showering, see if that helps any. At least this happened on a Thursday, where I have 2 days off afterwards to recover.

Bria, I apologize if I don't make it tomorrow. I will try, but if I am feeling this bad, I'll see you next weekend. Love you either way. <3