Creativity/Intelligence/Mental Disorder

While my workshop study answered some questions, it raised others. Why does creativity run in families? What is it that gets transmitted? How much is due to nature and how much to nurture? Are writers especially prone to mood disorders because writing is an inherently lonely and introspective activity? What would I find if I studied a group of scientists instead?

These questions percolated in my mind in the weeks, months, and eventually years after the study. As I focused my research on the neurobiology of severe mental illnesses, including schizophrenia and mood disorders, studying the nature of creativity—important as the topic was and is—seemed less pressing than searching for ways to alleviate the suffering of patients stricken with these dreadful and potentially lethal brain disorders. During the 1980s, new neuroimaging techniques gave researchers the ability to study patients’ brains directly, an approach I began using to answer questions about how and why the structure and functional activity of the brain is disrupted in some people with serious mental illnesses.

As I spent more time with neuroimaging technology, I couldn’t help but wonder what we would find if we used it to look inside the heads of highly creative people. Would we see a little genie that doesn’t exist inside other people’s heads?

Really long but interesting article about what links the creative brain to personality/mood disorders. Too small a study to count as entirely applicable across a broad spectrum, but a good start nonetheless.

Who Would Win the Second American Civil War?

New York pushed Northward. They pushed to claim all of New England and the food wealth they will need to supply their people now that resources from the Midwest are no longer available. The take over is mostly peaceful as many of the states have large, but mostly non-military populations. They encountered problems when large groups of refugees tried to flee to Canada and rioting ensued.

Illinois was calm. The Midwest Alliance grew steadily by seeking to secure the Great Lakes. They were able to take Ohio through a few fierce, but brief encounters. They also took on Minnesota and the mouth of the Mississippi River.

The West coast was now controlled by the two main powers -- California with its seat of power in San Francisco and The North West Union, centered in Seattle. California gained support and took control of all the states West of the Continental Divide and South of the Union. The North West Union pushed as far as Wyoming.

Leave it to Texas to mess everything up.

Breathe, Relax, Repeat

So perhaps it is the combination of the annoying debacle of the dress from China for the wedding, the desire to feel physically different from the draining two weeks I spent holed up in my apartment writing reviews every evening without change, or the freedom that was involved in the daily required walking in Seattle, but I have had constant cravings to exercise in the last few weeks back in Dallas. I have been running consistently for a year, but the last few weeks have made me desire to hit the trails or the gym every day, and feel frustration when I have not been able.

Not to say that the time I have spent in other activities has not been enjoyable. The friends I have seen, the simple act of cooking, sleeping in, etc. have been remarkable. But I hate the feeling when my body requires me to give up. When the muscles ache at night, when I cannot run another step without my lungs exploding or do one more repetition without shaking arms that drop the weight.

I sit here tonight, exhausted, addicted, wanting to do more, prove myself to me, and really, hating the healing time of the body most. Setting goals and seeing results is a driving force, but mostly, I need reminders that not everything can be done at once, that everything takes time.

VIA Institute on Character: Take Two

Character Strength #1: Perspective [wisdom] (+10)
Character Strength #2: Bravery [valor] (+15)
Character Strength #3: Integrity [authenticity, honesty] (+4)
Character Strength #4: Self-regulation [self-control] (+17)
Character Strength #5: Social Intelligence [emotional intelligence, personal intelligence] (+3)
Character Strength #6: Appreciation of beauty and excellence [awe, wonder, elevation] (-4)
Character Strength #7: Creativity [originality, ingenuity] (+9)
Character Strength #8: Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness
Character Strength #9: Love of Learning (-4)
Character Strength #10: Capacity to love and be loved (+2)
Character Strength #11: Curiosity and interest in the world (-8)
Character Strength #12: Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness (+10)
Character Strength #13: Fairness, equity, and justice (-4)
Character Strength #14: Leadership (-13)
Character Strength #15: Industry, diligence, and perseverance (-9)
Character Strength #16: Caution, prudence, and discretion (+4)
Character Strength #17: Forgiveness and mercy (+6)
Character Strength #18: Zest, enthusiasm, and energy (0)
Character Strength #19: Gratitude (-9)
Character Strength #20: Humor and playfulness (-5)
Character Strength #21: Citizenship, teamwork, and loyalty (-8)
Character Strength #22: Modesty and humility (-8)
Character Strength #23: Kindness and generosity (-4)
Character Strength #24: Spirituality [religiousness, faith, purpose] (0)

---

So back in 2009 I took this assessment, and was curious the difference how much almost 2 years can make in a personality. From my results, I have gained a new insight into how the world works and have become more adept to dealing with situations. Perhaps that is due to living on my own and being forced to deal. I am much more in control of myself, creativity has increased, but seemingly at the cost of a love of learning. Leadership has decreased to a dismal amount, as evidenced by anyone who has seen me at work since being thrown into Oracle implementation. Gratitude, loyalty, modesty and kindness have all taken a downward turn, indicating, that in the last 2 years I have become mean, more egocentric and proud of that. Hmm.

Interestingly, my vitality and spirituality have stayed exactly the same.

Dear Weather

Dear Weather,

I see no need to complain about how cold you are, since this is not a Texas-related occurrence. Your icy blast has engulfed everywhere but Florida and Seattle (hate you Ben and Ja') so our freakishly dropped weather is not that big of a deal.

However, two points:

1. When I finish running 4.5 miles and leave the gym sweaty and only have about 500 feet to walk to my apartment (I made that second number up, I totally can't tell distance. The first one was valid according to Landice 7), please don't blow (feels like according to Weather.com) -1° gusts of wind at me. It's just mean.

2. You ruined Tuesday. It had so much potential this week, and you brought it all to shit.

Unhappily,

Nicole

P.S. I spent most of the day on conference calls sitting in bed as it was the warmest place I could find. Beds are not made for work. You destroyed the comfort of my super-comfy bed. Add it to the bottom of thelist of things you ruined today.

To You

May loneliness end soon, and routines recommence.

Aten

Everyone needs some belief to treasure.

I hate Facebook

"The more I read Ayn Rand's work, the more I'm convinced she was just a psychopath who found a way to make not giving a shit sound admirable."

A friend wrote this on her wall recently. Or, more aptly, someone I haven't hung out with for over a year and half but know and see occasionally. But, since I make a concerted effort to rarely log in and even less to update, I am responding here. This makes me both sad and tired, because all I can't help but interpret it as is 'Everyone who enjoys or agrees with Ayn Rand's work is incredibly apathetic and should be praised for it.'

I get it. It lacks emotion in the way it seems the majority of people feel the need to sympathize with everything. Rand pushes empathy over sympathy, as one is truly understanding and showing you share an emotion versus just pretending you understand or care. And from the outside, that can be seen as psychopathic, and yet it gets under my skin. To someone like myself, it seems a lie to sympathize when you have to basis to feel the emotions that could be attached. I can say 'that sucks' with the best of them, but there's no point I can say 'it's ok, we've all been there, it'll get better' if I have no idea if that is a possibility to be there.

And not giving a shit? That makes no sense to me. Every single protagonist in a Rand story gave up everything for their beliefs. Every single one, that's kind of the trend. Love running a railroad but hate who you're giving the profits to because they are worthless bastards? Give it up, even though the book spends chapters on how hard it is to do so. Love architecture but not the way someone tells you it has to be? Become famous for your style for a while, lost it all, rescue your mentor who sold out and then do your thing no matter the money in the end. Love capitalism and a certain roguish fella? Get shot in back and die trying to escape a country imposing it's values.

All of that sounds like not giving a shit.

And yes, I think I've done this argument a thousand times since first reading Rand at 16. I've written papers I've done debates, I am not such a believer I don't understand the flaws of Objectiism, and this is doubtfully going to be the last time I bitch and moan about it. But I can't help but feel when someone posts things like the original statement, they walked in already expecting to have a perspective on the material, and don't see the intent behind it.

Selfishness does not mean not giving a shit. Not blubbering over how life begins/ends does not beget a miracle. Yes, liking Rand means being selfish and figuring out your own self-worth and desires so you can then use your talents correctly. Or if you don't have any, learn something, but damnit, do the job well. Being a psychopath normally precludes passionate love affairs, which, with little digging, you'd see happened with Rand, so dissuades that argument.

I get this is a rant. It was only meant to be as such, and it is lacking in eloquence and better thinking. I get worked up over simple things, but I cannot understand how those simple things are possibly misunderstood. I cannot fathom interpreting the world as others do, if this manaes to work me up this much at 1am when I should be sleeping.

I think I choose also being a psychopath who does not give a shit, if it puts me in the same boat as Rand. Better than crying over the Bronte sisters any day.

...

Random Question

Is there a good reason why every single movie/tv show post Fight Club feels it fitting to end any dramatic moment with The Pixies Where is My Mind? Agreed, this is one of the best bands of the 20th century. Agreed, they pioneered some amazing sound developments in music. Agreed, this is in my top 5 of bands ever, which is probably the only reason I hear background music from one song and know exactly where it comes from, but really, does it have to be over played?

Graffiti

Every now and then, in between all of the ugliness, name calling and self-centered egoism, you see something beautiful. Sometimes, you just have to go searching for it, as it is out of the way and rather hidden.

Prosper, Tx, 07/26/10

Bow to the Hooves

Dear Invisible Pink Unicorn,

Please make tomorrow a better day. I could really use the break.

Thanks, Nicole

Childhood

I have been waiting years for this, ever since the first movie came out. Growing up, I have always loved CS Lewis books, the same way people love Frank Baum or JK Rowling. Perhaps it is the age in which I grew up, or just because I read them at the right age, but this was the series I fell in love with that took me out of the normal world into one of fantasy and magic. It wasn't until I was in high school/college I even knew CS Lewis was writing religious overtones, etc. into the stories. The children were children in a fantastical land, Aslan was king and could make everything right, no images of God or Christianity to me. I guess it was the same as kids do not get sexual overtones in most films focused on an adult audience since the concept is utterly lacking for them.

In any case, this was by far my favorite of the 7 books. Of all Lewis books, fiction or non, and I have read them all. Dawn Treader made me happy to read, because it was with all abandon the characters took on their quest, not with uncertainty or knowledge of the future. Everything was up for grabs, including personal development, magic, wonder, date, etc. Everything you want as a kid.

I just really, really hope they don't mess this up. Prince Caspian was disappointing, but the book was as well. I am still glad the skipped 'The Magician's Nephew' (unless the actually make it in chronologically written order, and have Terry Gilliam direct) and man do I hope they skip 'The Horse and His Boy', but I would still like to see 'The Silver Chair'.

Actually, I am perfectly content to have it end after Dawn Treader. The rest is bollocks. This trailer makes me happy like a child, giggle like a child, and full of hope and wonder.

Director guy, you better not mess this up. This is full of my hopes and dreams. Please, do not destroy them before I turn 29.

Alots Are Better Than You at Everything

..via Hyperbole and a Half

Memories

Road trips to nowhere, underage smoking, falling asleep on an old mattress in an over-crowded house. Eating each leg off individually after stopping at the only gas station this side of Oklahoma. Nothing beats these for automatic nostalgia for time a decade gone.

I Jumped

Pretend it is a year ago. And pretend that it was cold. Pretend I had any idea what would happen.

Sometimes.......Moving Means Pushed

Life processes of all kinds involve energy transfer; there can be no life without it. Energy may be transferred between an organism and its surroundings, for example when heat is lost or gained. Energy is also transferred inside an organism's body. Energy is used by organisms to do things such as growing and moving."

Photo via... RuthandDave

Things I Forgot Today

Option #1
Option #2


Variety is the spice of life. "It is by will alone I set my mind in motion"

Possibly. Maybe. Perhaps.

Re-found

Excuse the handwriting, found this recently. Not one for letting go, but trying desperately.
I have recently been reminded of things of the past I had forgotten. Significant things that I determined at one time to be worth discarding because I thought i was the past that was done and gone. I keep coming up against that past lately and have found myself wanting for evidence of the evolution that is me.

Elsewhere, 1.0 was a bad protoype. I think this new version non-1.0 is much better, I just have not determined what version this really is, or if it is really in the period of flux to something else.

Either way, still, despite everything, there are parts of the world that make you wake daily with a smile.